Justin's World, Part 1 (edited)

Tell all the truth but tell it slant,
Success in circuit lies,
Too bright for our infirm delight
The truth's superb surprise;

As lightning to the children eased
With explanation kind,
The truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind

-Emily Dickinson


Justin hasn't actually interacted with a person since about 3 months after the day he moved downtown.  Hell, he'd hide his true nature from animals if he could.  He lives in a city where "downtown" is an actual place, not a direction.  Those first 3 months consisted of about 2 dozen sincere conversations that tended to follow a certain cycle of being impressed about other people, then depressed about himself, then he would get perspective and begrudge everyone else for not being better than him.  This cycle quickly stopped occurring in a logical order, leaving him bored and distant from the realm of cause and effect.

Justin latched onto Rick, the very first of his sincere conversations. For Justin, Rick was like that first jazz recording you purchased that you were convinced blew your mind until you realized they all sound like that.  This makes you feel ashamed and terrified, so you buy more and more jazz records, and you start going to jazz clubs. Rick's first jazz album happened long before Justin was around, and he has realized nobody actually gets jazz. They meet at an actual jazz club which is popular mostly because it has a really large partially outdoor area where people can smoke cigarettes and order drinks, and the live jazz is audible yet far away enough to talk over, so it feels like you're in an old movie.  Tonight Justin is with Rick and Rick's friends at the jazz club.  Rick is with Jess's friends, and Jess is with Israel's friends, and Israel came there by herself.  They were trying to convince Justin to hook up with Michele. "I would sleep with her if she didn't... exist so hard."  This came as a relief to the group.  Israel confirmed, "Actually, yeah that's a good way to put it." Rick says, "Yeah, he does that pretty well."  Jess adds, "I know, which is great, that's exactly the sort of presence Michele needs right now." "Ironic, non?" Israel sometimes adopts the affectation of a sultry, world-weary French woman.  It is estimated that every time she does, she saves herself 4 hours of reading or 2 hours of considering the human condition.

Justin changes the subject, "Rick how do you and Jess manage? You both have all these projects... I can't even keep track of your projects... maybe that's why I'm single, all I do is try to keep track of your projects.  What are you guys working on right now?"  When you don't really care about the answer to a question, sometimes its emotional depth and invasiveness go unnoticed.  Rick replies, "We're collaborating on a photography project actually." "Oh are one of you modeling for the other?" Jess continues, "Not exactly." Rick takes over, "So I was sitting at Nonna's, you know, that coffee house on Walnut? And I was editing photos for a wedding I did.  Dude, both families were LOADED, and big time assholes but I'll be able to splurge on the latest version of Final Cut because of them.  These narcissistic fucks actually paid me to follow them around for the bachelor and bachelorette parties.  It was so awkward. There was so much crying and apologizing. These people are crazy. Anyway, as I sort through hundreds of pics of drunk people in thousand dollar outfits, I felt someone watching me. So I turned around unexpectedly, and this woman's eyes shoot around like she was following a fly.  So I thought, "No fuckin' way, that woman was looking at my screen", and lord knows what she thought.  If she's not a photographer herself, how does she know those pictures are work and not just my weekend?  Then I looked around the room, and that's when it hit me: Almost everybody in that room was a photographer.  Everybody was editing photographs on their laptop and loading them to their website.  I could see weddings and other paid gigs, and some experiments." "Wow, you're giving the long version." "That's alright, keep going, I love it!" Israel encourages people's indulgences the way alcoholics encourage others to drink.  "So I decide to start taking pictures of people in coffee shops editing pictures. I already have two coffee houses that want me to hang 15 pieces."  Justin replies, "So meta! But where does Jess come in?" "I distract them!  I start a conversation..." "And she wears these ridiculous outfits and costume jewelry, it's quite an act."  Justin jokes, "It would take all that to distract people from your beard."  Rick has a huge beard.  He and Jess have domesticated a duck for companionship and for the eggs, and Rick waterproofs his beard by rubbing it against the duck's ass every other day.

More people start to join the group.  It's Saturday, so Justin drinks sidecars until he loses track of who he is speaking to, referencing parts of the evening to people who were not present for them.  Nobody calls him out on it. A caustic one-hitter of charred bud is passed to him a few times, and the person who keeps giving it to him who may as well be Rick asks if he is still trying to write the novel that captures the particular angst of his generation. "Shit's fuckin' archaic. Who really pays attention to novels except fuckin' other writers? Why don't I just make a Myspace bulletin about the particular angst of my generation instead?"  He reaches a state of mind where he usually rants at length, but realizes he has spread that rant throughout the evening with disapproving glares and sneering double entendres where instead of sex, the second meaning is "fuck you" and he's talking to himself. He wakes up partially naked on his floor, having failed to successfully masturbate, and miserably hungover.  He burps and realizes that instead of ordering water, he probably ordered pernod several times.

That afternoon Justin meets Rick at Essence, an eatery with really edgy menu and truly incendiary usage of glass and white and green bathroom tiles that closes at midnight. "Yeah I'll take a food menu. I'm starving."  Rick was confused.  "Didn't you just text me from Morning Glory?"  Justin did go to Morning Glory Cafe, where he ordered a coffee and spent half an hour staring at the menu trying not to puke until an allergy attack started.  After the second sneeze he began to feel self-conscious about enduring an allergy attack just to have a meal.  He felt like he was broadcasting that he wanted to be there too much.  It was revealing to much about him. He goes to Morning Glory regularly, usually alone, and without usually conversing with anyone, so he already feels like a creeper.  "It would be an act of desperation to stay a moment longer", he thought. So he threw cash on the table and bolted.

Justin looked at the menu and excused himself to use the bathroom, which inexplicably featured exposed brick, completely at odds with the rest of the restaurant's design, which resembled an Apple store.  He picked two protruding bricks to support himself as he dipped his head into the bowl to minimize the sound of impact.  Given his condition, he wasn't surprised to feel the room spinning and sinking, but when he opened the bathroom door to use the communal sinks to discreetly clean his face, he found himself in a room full of mirrors that was not the room he entered the bathroom from.  A face appeared in all the mirrors and addressed him by name.  "Congratulations, Justin.  You have hit the switch to unlock the power of your true potential.  You will now be given the opportunity you've probably always dreamed of: to write the novel that captures the particular angst of your generation.  You now have the power to have your wisdom reach the masses.  However, with opportunity of course comes conditions.  If you do not write a novel that captures the particular anxiety of your generation in two weeks time, you will be sucked into the mirror.  Go forth now, and complete your mission!"