Book Deal

That was possibly the craziest summer of my life, man.  I kept a journal of it all so I wouldn't forget, I'm thinking of pitching it to a publisher...

(Secretary walks into Chief Editor's office)

Secretary: Sir? It's Ryan Mayberry, your 11 o'clock.

Chief Editor: Excellent, send him in.

(Ryan enters, they shake hands.)

Cheif Editor: Ryan Mayberry?  Mitchell Stellcraft, chief editor at Major Publishing Company, have a seat.

Ryan: Mr. Stellcraft, thank you for taking the time to speak to me today on such short notice.

Mitchell: My pleasure Ryan, I just happened to have this little spot open up last minute.  I'd like to say I read your manuscript, but I'm a busy man.  Tell me why you're here.

Ryan: So I kept a journal when I was doing some contract work for the military in the Czech Republic a few years ago-

Mitchell: Very nice, good military reporting always does well. What were you guys doing in the Czech Republic?

Ryan: I'm not sure I remember, because I just got wasted the whole time!

Mitchell: I'm confused... please elaborate.

Ryan: Let me explain.  I was there going out with other soldiers every night just getting shitfaced!  The bars there are sick, and the women are even sicker.  Czech girls are not used to guys buying drinks for them, European men don't do that.  Plus, they have a romanticized view of America, and they've always wondered what it would be like to have an American man treat them right, you know?  I was always out with the same three guys, and they all had their thing they did at the end of the night.  Andy was always in a corner puking all over the place and apologizing to the bar staff.  Rob was always trying to start a fight with someone, and Rich was always with like two freaky girls ready to get freaky.  This chick I was sorta seeing, we kept turning on Midnight in Paris when we got in, but we were so wasted we kept falling asleep so I only saw like three-fourths of it.  But I was thinking, my book could be like that.  I could totally be like Owen Wilson, and my friend Rob could be Hemmingway... and Richie could be Shakespeare cause he's so smooth with the ladies, y'know? Andy is so Hunter S. Thompson, he even got us coke one night and-

Mitchell: Ok now, hold on a minute... you guys did cocaine?  That's awesome!

Ryan: I know!  We did it all weekend...

Mitchell: And you wrote about it?

Ryan: It's all in my diary.  I banged like, 3 Polish girls that week.  I have a few deep observations about the difference between Polish girls and Czech girls from that part, but I don't wanna give too much away.

Mitchell: I don't want to reveal too much, but Ryan: this is the sort of  material we've been looking for.  Regular Americans we can all relate to doing just crazy things in foreign countries.

Ryan: I have this one friend who is a DJ at this club. He spins at the Chrome Rose tonight.  We should go chill and talk things over.

Mitchell: Woah, you know a DJ?

Ryan: Totally, I go there every week and buy him a drink, we're real close.

Mitchel: That's remarkable!  Let's meet at 7:30. Oh, and I can totally expense it.

Ryan: Wait, what!?

Mitchell: Totally. After all, I'll be having lunch with an author.

(They laugh and shake hands)