The Assist

Yeah he's still back, slash never really left. ... He commutes to school, (our) mom just... She bought him pants ... I was so upset, like, I told her to return them. 
...

Like, with a degree in that, you need to intern while you get your degree. Otherwise it looks terrible on paper. ... And he wants to work for Facebook? Facebook is like “Go get your experience somewhere else, we don’t want you until you do, we’re not here to train you. (There is a hidden agenda to this level of enthusiasm for his role as the "bearer of tough love".  Is he bitter about the way the world has treated him?  Or is he angry that other people have priorities that he does not understand? I already hate him, is it because of my sympathy for her boyfriend or do I just hate aggressive vain pricks? The latter.)

Speaking of indecision Oh yeah, how is ? I just don't know where it is going And neither does he, and I guess he's taking it out on me?

...

Maybe it’s because I’m hearing it all at once, because we haven’t talked in a while, but it seems like you’ve been bottling this up for months. (Exaggerating her barely audible gripe. This guilt trip serves the following purposes: A) puts her on defensive so she won't notice that her misfortune makes him act slightly jovial. B) Casts him as sexually threatening, as though he can't be around when she is in a relationship or else they'll do something, that there is some palpable sexual tension.)

He's just ...  ... But I still love him ...

This guy just sounds like… a drain on society. Like, this guy is the reason socialist countries can’t work. (Silence. This could be when she shuts herself off to him for his vitriol. Will he take the hint?)

You need someone who is invested so you can take a break every now and then, maybe take some time for creative endeavors. Part of the problem with hipster type guys is there are relatively few of them who are reliable. (Don't you know? Creativity and financial instability is for women. So you should date me, and after we move in and get married I will convince you to take some time off of work for creative endeavors or to find yourself or some other bullshit so you’ll become more dependent on me. From there I will easily convince you that we should have children, and I will own you forever!)

...

I was an idiot, why didn’t I date you? (Likes giving people what they want so they'll leave her alone.)

...
You don’t need to feel guilty because you don’t get to that point unless shit is really fucked up. If you’re upset about this, you are already at the point where you’ve done enough. (I hope the glaringly faulty logic of this sentence overshadows my bias)

I know, but it’s just hard… (I like venting to you, but nothing you are saying makes me feel better)

My goal…

Is to take over my life.