Most Unappealing Conversations in History, Part 8: I Really Appreciate Music. Wow

What follows are two actual conversations, about 45-60 days apart, overheard at a coffee shop in Phoenix on Sunday evening. I'm pretty sure it is the same girl, first with her mother then with a date. I think the date is the guy mentioned in the first conversation. I find the contrast fascinating. She is 27, blonde, in good shape, anglo-tan. Tertiary female role in Judd Apatow flick. For first conversation, wearing a wholesome white textured polyester dress, like they just had dinner somewhere nice, but wearing flats. For second conversation, some sort of printed cotton dress you'd see in piles at a farmer's market, awful mixture of beet red, black, & purple with shapes that approach some sort of symbol nobody would expend the energy to discern.

Girl and her mother
This was originally condensed into short hand, out-of-context quotes, and summaries/meta commentary, am reconstructing now after hearing the second conversation.

Girl: She just keeps going to parties every weekend, keeps drinking. She slowed down a little since...
Mother: I was really worried about that night. Still am.
Girl: I don't go out with her anymore. She met this one guy on OK Cupid, and they had 3 dates before he asked to be her boyfriend. 3 dates! Then, get this: It's only been a month, and he said he's in love with her. And she said she loves him back. Like, I don't even know what to do. She's always like...

(complains about this person inaudibly)

Girl: I just sat there for two hours. She seemed OK at first but then she started crying and I was like, "really?"
Mother: Well that's what friends do, hon!
Girl: Mom, you just aren't educated about this stuff.
Mother: If your friend was upset and crying, you just gotta listen.
Girl: No, I'm sick of being a people pleaser. I could have done anything but I just sat there listening.
Mother: I'm sure she'd do the same thing for you!
Girl: I would never make her do that.
Mother: But that doesn't matter, it's just what friends do.
Girl: You keep saying "that's what friends do" like it means something. You have no friends.
Mother: That's not true.
Girl: No, you just have people who come to you for stuff.
Mother: I have at least a few people-
Girl: Name even one friend.
Mother: I don't have to. I'm not-
Girl: See? You can't!
Mother: No just-
Girl: No, don't dodge the issue, mom. You don't have any friends, you just let people go in and out of your life when they need you. You're a people-pleaser.
Mother: Will you let me say anything? I'll admit that I am there for my friends, and some had a lot of problems.
Girl: You confuse friendship with pity. (missing section) He was just a rebound from dad, you know it's true. Then you married him and used him. He wasn't perfect but that wasn't fair. It always felt forced having him around.

(indistinct complaining about friends)

Girl: And now I live with them and it's just frustrating. Their problems are my problems. (repeats theme a bunch of times)

Girl: Someone will accept me for who I am instead of what I do for them.
Mother: Maybe you're helping people with their problems to avoid your own problems or learning about yourself?
Girl: No, I just have a problem because of my impulse to help these people. You do the same thing, you just need to get educated, then you'll learn. I'm always listening to people talk about their problems, and I'm like, I don't care. I mean, I do care, that's the problem. I just end up with these people who always need my help.

(editor's note: Haha, what if I asked her to watch my laptop?)
(same thing goes back and forth, starts to get heated)
Mother: I just don't understand how it was such a big deal that you listened to your friend talk about her issues.
Girl: What!? I didn't listen to her talk about her issues with me, I sat there at work listening to her crying with her dad on the phone! How did you not get that?
Mother: (laughing) That's not what you said!
Girl: No, I said it like 5 times.
Mother: Well then of course you shouldn't have sat there for all that time! You just sat there the whole time? Why would you do that?
Girl: I don't know, it just seemed like-
Mother: I don't think that's your friend's fault!
Girl: Now you're just trying to upset me.
Mother: I'm not!
Girl: Can we just be quiet for 2 minutes?

(Girl rests head on table and does breathing exercises, snaps at mom when she tries to speak. Eventually starts talking about trees and weather)

Mother: You can't spell 'natural' without 'nature'.
Girl: A park isn't nature. It's a patch of grass with dog shit in it.
Mother: But parks are fun!
Girl: You can't do something just because it's fun. Fun ends when you're little. Eventually everything stops being fun. We don't have the imagination of a kid.
Mother: I think it is healthy if you acted childish.
Girl: You wouldn't be worried if I was in the backyard talking to imaginary friends? 

(missing part)
Girl: (describing adulthood) Those dull moments where we are trying to escape are life. Joy is just the unexpected beautiful moments.

Girl: I hate being that person, the one everyone comes to talk to about their problems. When people come to me for help, and I always give it to them, for me it is so easy to see it is unhealthy.
Mother: If she gets that from you, she's gonna take it.
Girl: She calls me and says, 'I looked really cute today!' And I play into it by acting interested, playing right into it. I ask what she was wearing, but it's like, 'I don't give a shit!' I would not call someone and say, 'I looked cute today!'
Mother: She's probably on Facebook all the time.
Girl: Actually, she deleted her Facebook.

(subject changes to a boy who always asks her how her day was)
Girl: I'm not the type of person who is going to just say 'My day was this', like, you need to ask me, then I'll tell you. I don't like small talk, like who cares how your day was?
Mother: Well that's an ice breaker.
Girl: I don't get it. How is 'How was your day' an ice breaker? You don't get to know someone by asking how their day is. He just asked me about my day so he could talk about his day.
Mother: Well how was his day?
Girl: I wasn't even listening. Is that bad? I prefer conversations that have depth.
Mother: (laughing) You're a little snoot!
Girl: I guess that does sound a little stuck up

Now with a slightly hippie-looking guy
This is all verbatim, except where otherwise noted, with the extraneous material removed.

Guy: I basically plant trees in Paradise Valley.

Her: Paradise Valley is so beautiful! Wow, so you're like, a real human. You're working with the Earth, not like everyone else who works at a desk, like behind computers. Like, society is turning people into robots. (next sentence paraphrased for coherence) We're all losing touch with our ability to relate to one another. Like, the new iPhone has a chip in it so you don't even need to use a credit card. We're all like turning into robots. (inaudible part missing) And like, the radiation? No thanks.  (inaudible) We don't use our imagination anymore.

(he inaudibly mentions his music healing gig, which seems like something they've mentioned before)

Her: Music heals. Something about music... it's amazing. I really appreciate music... wow.

Her: (paraphrased) I'm an Autism consultant. I quit my corporate job years ago so I could like, be independent, then I started working for some friends for this Autism consulting firm, but somehow I am a vegan cook right now.

Her: I'm not a hippie. I have a lot of personalities ... I've seen a lot of documentaries ... I don't eat meat. I eat fish ... I've been trying to live an organic life. No chemicals or GMOs ... I never deprive myself ... I do a lot of yoga, I wanna teach yoga. I have a lot of interests.

Him: So do you like... smoke?

Her: I haven't in a long time.

Him: Sorry, I didn't mean to- 

Her: No, it's ok, it's cute.

Her: I smoked a lot like, when I was 18, then I got over it. I think the last time was when I was twenty so like, 7 years ago. I mean, it is OK that other people smoke pot, it doesn't bother me. As long as they have a job and like, don't do it every day, it's totally great. ... I'm very affectionate when I smoke.

Him: Oh yeah? That makes sense because like, it makes you feel more things. Like, everything feels good. ... All the sudden I realize this genre of music had so much going on, and I wouldn't have seen that if I wasn't open.

Her: I've read some articles (paraphrase) about how people can take pot for ADHD. I think that it makes sense. I have a theory, because so much of ADHD is about overstimulation. Instead of so much stimulation, maybe lower the senses.

Her: I am all about energy, and when I saw you I just knew I should talk to you at some point. ... I wanted to at least make sure I said bye every day.

Her: Yeah, no I don't like looking at my phone. People want to talk to me every day and I'm like, I have close friends I haven't spoken to in, y'know, 6 years but if I talk to them tomorrow, it'd be like no time has passed. But people will text me and call every day, people want to talk about their problems and I'm like, “Why are you telling me all this negative stuff?” I try to avoid Facebook, people always posting about bad things.