Jagged Angles of Comfort

Vic felt a bit hesitant going to Tanya's viewing. They had been dating for two months, and the relationship had taken a turn for the serious in the weeks before the car crash claimed her life, so while he couldn't imagine not going, he knew most of the attendees mostly through her stories about them. Vic had met only a few of her friends and, very briefly, her sister. He imagined that her ex-husband would be there, and he tried to stifle inappropriately trivial thoughts of awkwardness, but he couldn't help himself from the occasional speculative glance around the room. He'd never seen a picture, so he had to guess by the composite sketch in his imagination. Anybody in the 30-40 age bracket was suspect, and his mind would rattle off several features to scan each face for before his conscience called him out. This cycle of internal struggle disturbed him, but it also kept his grief at a safe distance.

Glenn had been shifting in his seat at the back of the room speaking into a mobile device with both hands cupping the receiver. He approached Vic and solemnly introduced himself as her ex-husband. To cut the unbearable silence short, Vic asked how Glenn's band was doing. Glenn tightened his brows, "What band?" "Tanya said you were in a cover band..." Glenn seemed on the verge of laughter. "I was in a cover band in college. It paid for grad school!" Vic stares blankly as he thinks to himself, "Grad school?" Glenn continues, "I'm a writer and producer for TLC." This distracts him even further from his grief. Not only is Glenn successful now, but it seems that he has always been resourceful with his creativity, which is distinctly at odds with what Tanya told him. As the conversation continues, Vic tries to figure out why she lied to him. It seems like she was trying to give a more palatable impression of her choice to move on, as though she divorced an inept struggling artist for a more stable lifestyle with Vic. Was she trying to make Vic feel better for being less interesting than Glenn, or was she making herself feel better for not being able to handle her husband's ambitious lifestyle? Or maybe he cheated on her! He instantly feels shame for being relieved at that thought. The resulting insecurities would explain some of her bedroom acrobatics though.

While Vic was lost in his thoughts, Glenn turned to the side and spoke into a small recording device and mumbled the date and time a few barely audible sentences like "Reality series of what French women do on their 2 years of maternity leave" and "The secret lives of feral cats. Cats are all over the internet." Vic couldn't let this opportunity for some personal vindication pass. "Don't you think that is a bit inappropriate?" Glenn talked over his last few words into the device as though he wasn't listening, "8 episode series about the authenticity of celebrity pizza endorsements in New York". Vic was going to let the question drop, but Glenn turned to him and said, "I do feel a little self-conscious, but when ideas come there is no excuse not to record them. It would be a disservice to my staff if I didn't capture every possible idea. It's not easy..." Glenn's delivery of those lines is well-worn and rehearsed, as was his dismount. "It was nice meeting you, hopefully under better circumstances next time." He might as well have put a netspeak frowning face at the end.

When Vic arrives at the open coffin, he sees an attractive stranger. He places his hand beside her cheek as he often did in intimate moments and stares into her closed eyes. People around him probably thought he was restraining tears, but in reality he was trying not to say "Why did you lie to me?" His mind replied for her that she wanted to start over with someone who was unremarkable but attentive. This left him feeling even more unfulfilled... He walks away wondering if she ever existed in the first place when her voice rang in his thoughts, saying "I just can't believe Chelsea would be so short-sighted." Chelsea was one of her coworkers. This is the phone conversation she was having with him immediately before the accident. He absently agreed with her. Glenn is pacing next to the doorway saying things like "Chinese soy barons are the next oil moguls" and "The development of bacon into the phenomenon that it has become" as he replays the dialog. This is what he has for closure.