Four Waffles? Two of Them

Fred!
Four waffles?
Take what you can eat
Your stomach will be replete
With flour, egg, sugar, vanilla extract
I'm reading the ingredients hoping you'll react
By leaving the room, hunger barely intact
Consider half of your plate
Return and donate
Two of them
Dick!

The Sign Says She's Knocked Up

Hey!
The sign says
"No copulation"
What are you, blind or something?
Yep, I'm blind from excessive masturbation
That's what you get for ignoring your mother's advice
Actually my mother was always in favor of my habit
No drug problem or risk of getting a girl knocked up
You being blind works to her advantage
Nah dude, blind chicks are easy
I have a girlfriend
She's knocked up
Shit!

Weary of A Few Drinks

I'm
Weary of
Spontaneity
Fuck serendipity, too
I need to know what I'm looking forward to
How else do I know when to start enjoying myself
Perhaps my ex-girlfriends were right to end the boring relationship
But they never knew where they were going anyway
And I knew exactly where they were going
From the moment I met them
Expensive dinner
A few drinks
Bed

Commandments, 2 iPads

Ten
Commandments
Could you imagine
Charlton Heston descending
Mt. Sinai holding
Two iPads
Smash

Deadly Silence, Or Do You Just

Thunder
Deadly Silence
Who do you blame when lightning strikes
Do you retract our magnet privileges?
Mandate rubber safety attire
Or do you just
Thank God

Why am I Here, And So am I

More math poetry: divisible by two, not by three

OK
Why am I here?
Enduring boring philistines
When I speak my mind some look at me strange
As they tap their fingernails to Bruce Hornsby & the Range
While solvent scent and untuned guitars are my normal cafe fare
They admire $3000 portraits of candles hung on freshly painted walls
How likely am I to find likeminded kinfolk or new friends here
Though why restrict myself by what I think folks like me do
I could find a kindred spirit today
Because I am at this cafe
And so am I
I'll stay

She Worked Hard, Anne Has Scored

Math poem: Odd prime numbers up to 23 syllables and back.

Anne
She worked hard
Strong reputation
And considerable debt
She grew weary of seeing lousy art work
Prominently displayed in cafes, bistros, and bars
With printed bios and price tags an oil exec could appreciate
So she sold out and became a local commodity to be reckoned with
At her peak popularity, she releases some pieces to select venues with menus
Hideous frail free standing mixed media with high center of gravity
Inevitably knocked over by baristas and bartenders
Shops paid for them at her arbitrarily set price
Anne's marketable soul that shatters like ice
Aside from being debt free
In the game of life
Anne has scored
One