Inner thoughts interpreted from observed behavior of a girl around 20 years old who takes a break from reading an article in a sociology journal (ostensibly mining it for the required external sources for a research paper) to take a selfie. She looks at the pic and creates a blank message and keeps looking at two names in her phone: Erica and Dave.
This'll do. My chin is doing that thing, but my tits look huge... what did Lindsey say, "Tastefully spilling" over my sports bra? Dave would totally lose his shit if I send this. Am I in the mood for that? That'll pretty much guarantee that I'll end up spending the night again...should I do that? Continue to encourage this? I don't want to just go home and pass out, but I don't know if I'm up for all that. I miss Erica, I should send it to her, this really captures where I'm at in life right now, buried in text books and all discombobulated. I miss her so much and she sent me that pic of her dogs so I owe her... look at them, so adorable. I hope I get to see them when I go home for Thanksgiving. but if I start talking to her I won't get anything done and I'll be on the phone all night bullshitting about high school and Santa Cruz. But I do miss her. Dave is so chill. Maybe I could just send him the pic and and see him Friday? But a Wednesday booty call is so perfect, I could use that this week. It'll be like a temporary weekend! Ugh I still have so much to do here.
Dave is perfect for nights like this, he is like clockwork. Never keeps me up too late, good for a solid three times, the third being right before work which is nice. He's like sleeping pills and an alarm clock! lol He always promises me breakfast but never gets up on time for both, and I can stop at Starbucks for one of those things! lol I just hope he's not getting the wrong idea. Should I wait until he texts me? No, because then I'd be encouraging him; I'd be rewarding him for reaching out to me.
I hope he doesn't wanna sext, I don't have energy for that shit. Id have to take a shower and stuff. This new phone is so... vivid. Too vivid. Oh god, my forehead is shining, let me try this again. How do I keep getting greasy? There's no humidity here! Where does it come from?
Though that time he sent me those pics when I was driving was so fucking hot. I completely lost control... Could that happen right now? Maybe I should just trust the moment. Yeah. Ok I'll do it! Fuck, this screen is huge, what if he replies with a dick pic? That'd be unlike him tho, he never jumps right into it. Plus the pic clearly shows where I am. What am I doing? I need to finish this assignment. This is a cute pic though. Ill just post it on Facebook.
Showing posts with label inner monolog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inner monolog. Show all posts
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Banksy
So here I am, on the PATH, on my way to check out the new Banksy graffiti in lower Manhattan. I'm really excited, these are all brand new pieces, the spray paint probably still aromatic. I never remember to check out his art when I'm traveling, but now it's right here. He said they'll be popping up all October, and with a toll-free number next to them that plays a recording of his commentary, like a museum guided tour. His work is full of childish whimsy, which is typically lost when acquiring such a knack for social and political commentary. It's sorta like a much more subversive Gary Larson. I wonder if anyone has made that connection before? Of course someone has, it's so obvious. They probably wouldn't even bother to say it, it's such a shallow observation. I'll give it the google test though, just to be sure. Yep, well documented.
So it's at Allen and Canal St. Chinatown. Should I walk all the way there from World Trade to really get into the rhythm of the street and maybe recreate the moment of inspiration? There are no crosstown trains to Chinatown anyway, remember when we learned that rushing for the Chintatown bus home that time? Shit, maybe I should have taken that. But then I'd be stuck leaving the city by 10:30, and now that I'm unemployed, I can stay as late as I like. Plus I'd miss all this urban decay only viewable from the train. Look at all those abandoned warehouses in those lots of cracked asphalt overgrown with tall grass along the Hudson, it's so toxic and post-apocalyptic. I wonder how I would get there, there are no roads. How would Banksy get there? That whole building would be perfect for a Banksy piece, how many people would see it... 250,000 per day on average, according to sources. I wonder what used to happen in that building? I wonder what their layoff notices were like?
The toll-free number is on his website... should I call it? No, I should start trying to get into the right frame of mind. Banksy captures the human condition, the very same human condition that surrounds me in this train car. I can see it in these people around me, all fish-eyed looking at their devices. They need someone like Banksy to remind them of what they've all lost... by no fault of their own, of course. I mean, what I've seen of Banksy's work he is very action-positive. Action-positive can be a thing, right? That we can all make a choice to allow the world to affect us? That it's not just all escapist Mickey Mouse culture? That we can do something, regardless of how ephemeral and insignificant?
It's 11:30 in the morning on a Wednesday. I wonder how many people are victims of layoffs trying to explore the city in a way their 9-5 never permitted. Those look like students, they seem busy and optimistic, and their faces are still taut, unworn by the "real world". There's a tired woman with three children... why aren't they in school? Do people wear ties to explore the city? Do people take the subway to a job interview? I wonder if there are other people from the Merck layoffs. Can I claim solidarity with them even though I quit without notice after the announcement? And I was just in the customer service pit? Banksy says, "If you don't own a train company, then go and paint on one instead". That's totally what sending that email felt like. I guess since I have few responsibilities and am free to derail my life's course, it was my duty to use myself as a tiny wrench in the gears. I'm sure that the groups I blind cc'd appreciated it, and that I did what they want to do, but had no way to show it that wouldn't get them in trouble. That's what going to admire Banksy's street art is for me. Showing my appreciation for that feeling of tiny revolution inside of me he sparks.
Should I listen to the recording at the number? Is that cheating? Whatever, it's too distracting, I should just do it. "...it's probably painted over by now". That'd suck. But wait, who is going to paint over it? Especially with all the publicity for the city this is sure to draw. I wonder if there will be police nearby guarding the wall. What if there's a crowd? Haha, maybe I'll take pictures of people taking pictures and post it on my blog. No, that's too obvious, there'll probably be people doing that, too. I'll make a people-watching project out of it and take pictures of people taking pictures of people. Scratch that, I'm gonna feel too self-conscious taking pictures of anything, and I'd hate to have someone approach me and ask for an account of myself. Maybe I'll look at the wall next door or across the street, sort of like performance art. No, that's stupid. I'll just go to the restaurant across the street and have lunch, then go join the crowd. I'm hungry. I don't really want Chinese though. If Banksy is lampooning museum tours, maybe I should go to the MoMA first. I've always wanted to see the MoMA anyway, and they close, whereas I'm sure Banksy's piece will still be there later. I'll hop on the 1 and head uptown, there will be more dining options there. Today is awesome!
So it's at Allen and Canal St. Chinatown. Should I walk all the way there from World Trade to really get into the rhythm of the street and maybe recreate the moment of inspiration? There are no crosstown trains to Chinatown anyway, remember when we learned that rushing for the Chintatown bus home that time? Shit, maybe I should have taken that. But then I'd be stuck leaving the city by 10:30, and now that I'm unemployed, I can stay as late as I like. Plus I'd miss all this urban decay only viewable from the train. Look at all those abandoned warehouses in those lots of cracked asphalt overgrown with tall grass along the Hudson, it's so toxic and post-apocalyptic. I wonder how I would get there, there are no roads. How would Banksy get there? That whole building would be perfect for a Banksy piece, how many people would see it... 250,000 per day on average, according to sources. I wonder what used to happen in that building? I wonder what their layoff notices were like?
The toll-free number is on his website... should I call it? No, I should start trying to get into the right frame of mind. Banksy captures the human condition, the very same human condition that surrounds me in this train car. I can see it in these people around me, all fish-eyed looking at their devices. They need someone like Banksy to remind them of what they've all lost... by no fault of their own, of course. I mean, what I've seen of Banksy's work he is very action-positive. Action-positive can be a thing, right? That we can all make a choice to allow the world to affect us? That it's not just all escapist Mickey Mouse culture? That we can do something, regardless of how ephemeral and insignificant?
It's 11:30 in the morning on a Wednesday. I wonder how many people are victims of layoffs trying to explore the city in a way their 9-5 never permitted. Those look like students, they seem busy and optimistic, and their faces are still taut, unworn by the "real world". There's a tired woman with three children... why aren't they in school? Do people wear ties to explore the city? Do people take the subway to a job interview? I wonder if there are other people from the Merck layoffs. Can I claim solidarity with them even though I quit without notice after the announcement? And I was just in the customer service pit? Banksy says, "If you don't own a train company, then go and paint on one instead". That's totally what sending that email felt like. I guess since I have few responsibilities and am free to derail my life's course, it was my duty to use myself as a tiny wrench in the gears. I'm sure that the groups I blind cc'd appreciated it, and that I did what they want to do, but had no way to show it that wouldn't get them in trouble. That's what going to admire Banksy's street art is for me. Showing my appreciation for that feeling of tiny revolution inside of me he sparks.
Should I listen to the recording at the number? Is that cheating? Whatever, it's too distracting, I should just do it. "...it's probably painted over by now". That'd suck. But wait, who is going to paint over it? Especially with all the publicity for the city this is sure to draw. I wonder if there will be police nearby guarding the wall. What if there's a crowd? Haha, maybe I'll take pictures of people taking pictures and post it on my blog. No, that's too obvious, there'll probably be people doing that, too. I'll make a people-watching project out of it and take pictures of people taking pictures of people. Scratch that, I'm gonna feel too self-conscious taking pictures of anything, and I'd hate to have someone approach me and ask for an account of myself. Maybe I'll look at the wall next door or across the street, sort of like performance art. No, that's stupid. I'll just go to the restaurant across the street and have lunch, then go join the crowd. I'm hungry. I don't really want Chinese though. If Banksy is lampooning museum tours, maybe I should go to the MoMA first. I've always wanted to see the MoMA anyway, and they close, whereas I'm sure Banksy's piece will still be there later. I'll hop on the 1 and head uptown, there will be more dining options there. Today is awesome!
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