Thought Bubbles

Inspired by a conversation I sorta overheard and chose to misinterpret the hell out of. Imagine a guy looking at his Facebook newsfeed. These are his thoughts and actions. It helps to ignore the annotations on the first read, then read the whole thing.


Trish is so hot. Click Trish's profile. (I)
Look at how hot she is. View pics. (II)
Is she single? (III)
Nope.
Does she still date the same bland semi-intellectual versions of Dane Cook like she did in college? Click profile of guy she's "in a relationship" with.(IV)
Looks like it. Am I superior to him in the context of my own value system? Click self profile.(V)
Yep. (VI)
I'm so hot. (VII)


(I)Trish and I used to have fun together. I should consider getting back in touch with her. Why did we never date? (A)
(II)What has she been up to? I will be more easily able to determine this by looking at her pictures than by reading her wall because the pictures cover a greater span of time than her day-to-day postings.
(III)Is she settling down?(B)
(IV)I wonder if he is like Brent. He was kinda annoying. (C)
(V)I wonder what she would see if she were to look at my profile. What would she think?(D)
(VI)I'm sure he's a great guy.
(VII)I lead a good life.


(A)Or whatever. I can have attractive female friends without any hidden sexual agenda. That's why I'm awesome. (i)
(B)Not that being "in a relationship" means you are "settling down".(ii)
(C)We had a decent conversation about The New Pornographers. Or was it The Coldwar Kids? I can't tell the difference.(iii)
(D)That is an innocently charming and not at all creepy thought to have, right? A refreshingly new mode of self-evaluation! (iv)

(i)That doesn't really make me awesome. If I am capable of it, anybody is because people are by default decent and moral and I am glad to be alive among them.
(ii)Not that there's anything wrong with settling down. After all, what else are we here for?(a)
(iii)I just need to listen to more indie music. Then I'll be able to appreciate the nuances that differentiate the artists and bands.
(iv)Not that I care. I'm totally free to think whatever I want to think!

(a)There are plenty of other reasons we could be here, breeding isn't necessarily the only goal of life. (1)


(1)Not that this is a rationalization of my being single, which is a choice I have made on my own in the unbiased realm of my mind, and not because I want to rebel against society or because I lack other options.