Monopoly: Political Commentary Edition

Congratulations on your purchase of Monopoly: Political Commentary Edition. Please select your characters from the following: CEO, Liberal Party Member, Tea Bagger, Green Party Member. Player one, you have selected Tea Bagger. You own utilities and one of the four railroads. You are almost out of money, but the CEO was kind enough to buy two of your railroad properties at face value in exchange for unlimited usage and executive power over those and all of your other assets. Players two and three, you have selected: Liberal Party Member. You will each own one or two of every property color, but neither one of you will own all three of any colour because you can't come to an agreement about what you would do afterwards. Player four, you have selected: CEO. You own Boardwalk and Park Place with hotels as well as funds generated by all of Tea Bagger's property. You are also in the seat nearest to the bank. You try to convince the liberal party players to remove regulations that prevent you from being able to forcibly purchase their assets, but promise not to use it. You argue on the grounds that, y'know, in a truly free market that sort of thing would be allowed. Player 5, you have selected Green Party Member. You will make a delicious burrito out of this board game. Enjoy it.